Vague Notes
by Ceresava
Summary: Who thought such a vague note could cause so much trouble? Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Don't own cats. Yay? Yay.

Vague Notes

The junkyard was completely silent. You could hear a pin drop, you could cut the tension with a knife. The air was still and thick, and no living thing was moving. It was midday, and the heat from the sun made everything sticky, smelling, and generally gross. And worst of all, the most awaited moment was to come that very night, which made it especially-

"Bo-ring!" Rumpelteazer proclaimed, her voice fighting its way through the thick atmosphere. Her best friend and partner in crime looked up, but soon put his head back down as if holding it there were too much effort. Every cat was lazy today, for tonight was the Jellicle Ball. "I mean, honestly, you'd think everyone would be running around every-which-way to get things ready! But nobody's doing ANYTHING! Jellylorum's not knitting those hideous armwarmers she makes every year- not like SHE wears them or anything. I mean, get real. If you're going to make everyone else wear ugly armwamers, you've gotta wear them too! Jennyanydots isn't cleaning anything- have I mentioned how much it STINKS? Gross!"

"Rumpelteazer."

"And don't even get me started on that whole glove fashion! I mean, I know Bombalurina and Demeter are like the trendsetters around here and they're a step up from Jellylorum's Armwarmers… but they're still ugly!"

"Rumpelteazer!"

"And the worst thing I've EVER seen ANYONE wear to a Jellicle Ball? That Rumpus Cat outfit!" With that she shuddered.

"Teazer! Will you just listen to me?" Mungojerrie snapped, tired of being ignored.

"What?" She asked, falling off the tire in surprise.

"Wanna stir something up?" He said with a grin. Her smile was the only confirmation he needed. "Let's make a love letter… from Pouncival to Jemima!" Teazer giggled loudly, earning a half-hearted slap on the shoulder from her partner in crime. "You know how they like each other! We'd be doing them a favor."

"Yeah! I like it. Let's find something to write with… and on." She said, pulling a piece of slightly oily paper out from under her.

"I have this old pencil!" Mungojerrie offered her a chewed up pencil and she took it gingerly, holding it with both paws.

"Okay. I… know…" She began writing slowly and neatly so that Jemima might understand it. When she finished she looked down on her work with a grin. It read:

_I know I should tell you this in person, but I just couldn't work up the courage. My love for you burns like a thousand streetlamps all put together. I'd die without you._

"Short, but to the point. I like it." Mungojerrie said, clapping her on the back.

"Careful, that's where you hit me earlier." She said, swatting at his paw.

"Sorry. Now, how do we get it to her?" He asked, leaning over Rumpelteazer's shoulder to read the letter again.

"Shhh…." Rumpelteazer replied, holding a single claw up to his lips as the youngest kitten in the junkyard walked by. "Hey, Electra!" She called out, causing the little queen to look up.

"Will you give this to your sister? And, uhm, say it's from Pouncival?" He asked, giving her an innocent smile. Electra gave him an odd look, but took the letter none the less.

"Alright… but you owe me one!" She said, skipping off.

"That was easy." Rumpelteazer remarked as she leaned into Mungojerrie, watching the little kitten skip away.

"Victoria! Victoria! I have a note for you." Electra said, shoving the love letter at her oldest sister. "And I will not keep a secret, it's from Mungojerrie." She said with a nod as the white queen read over it.

"Oh, EW!" Victoria spat, crumpling it up.

"What? What?" Electra said, clinging to her sister's shoulder.

"Mungojerrie is in LOVE with me." She said, stuffing the note in Jellylorum's knitting basket.

"Ew!" Electra mimicked. "I'd _die_ if he liked me!"

"Don't tell anyone I hid it in there!" Victoria insisted, clenching her paws into fists.

"I won't! But you owe me one." She added as an afterthought.

"Anything!" Victoria murmured as she ran off to find Plato.

Alonzo was poking through Jellylorum's knitting basket, trying to find a good place to leave his note. He was interrupted by the stripy yellow-and-brown queen herself, who cleared her throat rather loudly.

"Uh…. Sorry." The black and white tom said, straightening up. "I was just-"

"Messing up my yarn basket?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Actually, I need new armwamers. Mine are getting all worn out." He said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh! Well, you could have just asked me." The tall yellow queen put out, picking the basket up in her paws.

"Sorry… I left you instructions in there." He said, smiling slightly.

"Wonderful. I'll have them to you by tonight." She said, rooting through the basket and pulling out a folded up piece of paper.

"You're amazing, Jellylorum." Alonzo replied, running off to meet a group of his friends.

"I try…" She laughed to herself as he left, unfolding the piece of paper. As she read it, her face twisted up in confusion. "Alonzo's in love with me? Oh, dear…"

"Oh dear what?" A voice said from behind her, causing her to jump. She leaned back on the tire as casually as possible, dropping the note into it as she did so.

"Oh, hello Munkustrap. Lovely day, isn't it? I was just knitting. Armwarmers. For a queen, of course." She said, biting her tongue and skittering off as she finished. Munkustrap scratched his head and turned around, finding himself face-to-face with Bombalurina.

"Reporting for duty, Mr. Leader!" She said, giving him a toothy grin.

"Cut that out! You know I hate it when Jellicles call me that." He said, catching his breath after being scared out of his skin by Bombalurina.

"But, only Demeter and I call ya that, and you love it when she does it." She said slyly, sitting herself down on the tire. Munkustrap felt his ears grow warm.

"Yeah… well… it's your turn to clean out the tire." He said, trying to find a way to get even with her.

"Ew! Gross! I'm not doing that." She said, waving her paws out in front of her.

"There's a reward in there for you, if you clean it all." Munkustrap said, knowing that she'd clean the whole thing looking for the 'reward'. _It should take her a few hours,_ Munkustrap thought, which would give him enough time to find a good hiding place.

"Really? Okay, I'll do it." She said, hopping into the tire. "I'll report back to you as soon as I'm done!" She said, saluting him. He waved goodbye and set out to look for that hiding place of his.

The first thing Bombalurina found when she jumped into the tire was a piece of crumpled up paper.

"Hmm… what's this? Oh, it must be my reward. Well, that was easy. Now, what does this say…" She said, unfolding it. "Oh. My. God." She managed to get out before breaking into hysterics.

"What?" A voice from behind her asked, causing her to jump. She stuffed the note into the lining of an old cloth collar.

"Oh, hi Electra… Well, I guess you're safe to tell. Munkustrap is in love with me!" She said, breaking out laughing again as Electra drew her paw to her mouth in an attempt to act shocked.

"If I wasn't going out with Tugger, I might give him a chance."

"You're the luckiest in the world to be dating Tugger!" Electra announced with a dreamy sigh.

"Don't tell anyone, alright? Our little secret." Bombalurina insisted, playing with the collar and musing the secret it held.

"Okay, but you owe me one." Electra offered with a broad smile.

"Okay, I owe you one." Bombalurina said with a wink as the kitten skipped off. She began to chuckle again but was cut off by the Tugger himself. Stuffing the note back into the collar, she sat up.

"What's with the collar, Bombie?" He asked, reaching for it.

"Ah, NO!" She said, rather panicked, pulling the collar away from his paw. "It's, uhm, moldy… Etcetera's. She probably never cleans the thing." She covered for herself quickly, looking inside it and faking disgust.

"Oh. Well, put it down so we can go grab a bite to eat before we head over to the Ball." He offered her his arm.

"Alright." She said, rather relieved as she set the collar down on the tire and ran off to get her gloves. Just as she was leaving, Etcetera came bouncing out of the pipe with a smile on her face that Tugger thought made her look slightly evil.

"Hiiiii!" She said with a flourish, leaning on the tire next to him. Normally, he'd enjoy the attention, but right now he was preoccupied with Bombalurina's odd behavior. He sighed and hastily brushed her off.

"Hey kid, there's a surprise for you in there." He said irritably, pointing at her collar and hoping she might catch a cold or something from the mold and be out of operation for a few days. She gave him an odd look, but did indeed peek inside the collar. He padded off as she began to rip at the seams.

ooo

When she finally fished the piece of paper out, Tugger was gone. She half-frowned-half-pouted, but unfolded the piece of paper nonetheless. Scanning over it quickly, a goofy grin spread across her face. As she finished, she let out a super-hyper giggle and began bouncing around the junkyard. In her glee-fest, she managed to drop the note, not really paying attention to where she dropped it. After about a quarter hour, she calmed down and skittered off to find Jemima.

ooo

The Tugger had been helping Bombalurina look for her gloves for almost half an hour now.

"Honestly," He said to himself, "You'd think just any old pair of gloves would do. Queens." He scoffed as he picked the gloves up. As he did so, a small piece of paper fluttered to the ground. Snatching it up, he unfolded and read it, becoming enraged as he did so.

_Someone's having an affair with Bombalurina. _He thought, not considering any other possibility. _I bet it was Munkustrap. Well, maybe not. Alonzo? I wouldn't put it past the slime bag. But seriously. Who would ever try to have an affair with Bombalurina? It's obvious that she's already with the most handsome and desired tom in the junkyard..._

The Tugger's moment of vanity had given Etcetera a chance to sneak up on him, the rest of his fan base- namely Electra, Jemima, and Victoria - huddled together behind her as she approached him.

"Hello, Tugsy." She said, popping up next to him. He heaved a sigh before speaking.

"Man, you never give up, do you?" He asked, stepping away from her to further examine the paper clutched in his hand.

"You don't have to hide your true feelings, Tugsy." She said, pushing herself up to him.

"Woah, woah, okay… I think I hear Jenny calling for you." He said, pointing away towards another pile of junk. She winked at him before bounding off. Exhaling loudly, Tugger glanced at the note again before jamming it into an old cardboard box that was a hideous shade of purple. He proceeded to bound off so that Etcetera wouldn't find him when she didn't find Jenny.

ooo

"Demeter, I thought you would like this because it's pretty. And you're pretty." Munkustrap started out to himself, holding an old chiffon scarf in his paw. "No, that sounds stupid. It always does." He said with a sigh. "I guess I could just put it in a box and leave it by her den… Yeah, that'd work." He said, grabbing an old purple box. "Hmm… not the most stylish, but it'll do." He decided, tucking the scarf into the box. Admiring his handiwork, he set out for Demeter's den.

She hadn't been there when he arrived, so he just left the box on her bed, rather grateful that he hadn't had to talk to her. As he was about to leave, he realized that she wouldn't know it was from him. Grabbing a nearby piece of napkin and a slightly bent ball point pen (living in a junkyard had its advantages every now and then…) He jotted down a note and tucked it into the box along with the scarf.

ooo

When Demeter returned home from helping Jellylorum knit some arm warmers (the poor queen had been all flustered, and she wasn't quite sure why…) the first thing she noticed was a outrageously purple box sitting on her bed. She padded over to it warily and examined it critically. She noticed that the arrow (which she assumed should be pointing up. She couldn't read human words, but this was normally the case.) was, in fact, pointing downward. Flipping the box, she opened it. Enclosed was a pretty green scarf and… a slightly oily, crumpled up piece of paper. As a cat, her natural curiosity kicked in and she picked it up. After reading it (she could read cat writing, you see.), her eyes got very large.

"It must be from Macavity. Uh-oh… I better tell somebody." She said, taking off, full-speed for the clearing in which the Jellicle ball was to be held.

The Ball had already started when she got there, and with the noise from the evening traffic on the highway next to the Junkyard, it was almost impossible to hear anything. Demeter approached Munkustrap, waving the note frantically.

"I think you should read this! I found it on my bed!" She screeched at the silver tabby, who took it from her. At that moment, a loud honk issued from one of the cars, causing her to squeal and head for cover.

"What?" Munkustrap yelled after her, having heard, 'You're going to need this, it came from my head.', which made very little sense. Unfolding the note and scanning it, Munkustrap felt his ears go warm. He was about to seek out Demeter when Tugger confronted him.

"Did my queen give you a note?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. Munkustrap opened his mouth to say no when he realized that Tugger wasn't talking about Bombalurina, but Demeter. Since when had they been going out? Oh well, best not to get involved.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU." He announced, bolting off.

_Oh yeah… it was him. I didn't think Munkustrap had it in him, stealing a queen from me…But maybe it was Alonzo. Look at that stupid grin. Hmm…_

"Electra, take this." Munkustrap said, shoving the note into her arm warmer. "Don't tell anyone you have it."

"Fine, but you owe me one." Electra proposed, padding off towards the tire.

General mayhem ensued for the next fifteen minutes. Jellylorum avoided Alonzo like the plague, but the poor tom really just wanted his arm warmers. Victoria, likewise, kept throwing Mungojerrie dirty glares, earning several 'What did you do to her?' like comments from Rumpelteazer, who was concerned for her best queen friend. Munkustrap kept trying to approach Demeter, who was on high alert because Macavity was obviously going to snatch her up at any minute. Bombalurina was looking for Munkustrap while avoiding Tugger, who was avoiding Etcetera, who didn't bother to avoid anyone in her pursuit for the object of her affections. Electra sat on the tire, trying to figure out what the note said (she couldn't read human OR cat writing.) and why it was upsetting her friends so much. Finally, she'd had enough.

"Okay, a lot of you guys owe me favors. So can somebody PLEASE tell me what this says?" She asked, holding out the note.

"NO!" The cry rang out quite clearly, even over all the commotion. Everyone's glances shifted from Mungojerrie to Victoria to Jellylorum to Bombalurina to Munkustrap, who all looked rather dumbfounded at the each other's reactions.

"Mungojerrie gave this note to Victoria, and everyone's been in a stitch about it ever since." Electra announced, earning a glare from her eldest sister.

"It was _supposed _to go to Jemima." Mungojerrie muttered.  
"Uhh…" Jemima responded, frowning as Victoria broke out into giggles.

"I thought Tugger wrote it to me." Etcetera said with a pout, her eyes full of tears.

"No, Alonzo wrote it to me." Jellylorum put out.  
"What? I thought Munkustrap wrote it to me. Errr." Bombalurina snapped, the mumbled something else to Tugger, who was scowling at her.

"Oh… I thought it was for me… er, nevermind." Munkustrap sputtered, sighing.

"Macavity's not coming to kill me?" Demeter questioned, poking her head out of the drainpipe she had chosen to hide in.

"No, it was supposed to be from _Pouncival._" Rumpelteazer said, correcting Mungojerrie.

"You wrote it?" Jellylorum snapped, feeling rather foolish.

"Well… Mungojerrie did it, really. IT'S HIS FAULT!" She squealed, slipping away. Mungojerrie chuckled nervously, slipping away as well.

"All in favor of killing them?" Tugger suggested. There was verbalized consent as the group set off after them, save for Jemima and Pouncival.

"A love letter from you to me, huh?" Jemima asked, tilting her head.

"Wonder where they got that idea." Pouncival said with a shrug.

"Want to dance?"

"Sure." 

oooOOOooo

It's DONE. -evil laughter- I've been working on it FOREVER. You don't even KNOW. But finally, with the help of a sick day, it is COMPLETE. Just over six pages in MS Word.

rawr.


End file.
